Nuclear Bomb refuses to act as villain in upcoming movies

Taking a cue from actor Sonu Sood, Nuclear Bomb today announced that it is no longer interested in negative roles. This decision comes after years of playing the villain in several Bond movies like Goldfinger and Tomorrow Never Dies and playing a negative role in numerous successful movies like Planet of the Apes, Terminator, Broken Arrow, Red Dawn and the more recent, Xmen: First Class. Nuclear Bomb has also played a key role in several video games like Call of Duty, Rise of Nations, Splinter Cell and Defcon. Earlier this week Nuclear Bomb refused to act in Madhur Bhandarkar’s next movie ‘Bomb’ citing date problems.This refusal is being considered as a confirmation of Nuclear Bomb’s stand against its typecasting.

‘I am fed up of playing the same negative roles again and again. Of late, I’ve started feeling like Mohinish Behl’, grunts Nuclear Bomb. ‘The last time I played a positive role, years ago in Deep Impact, all the credit was stolen by a stupid halfling. This is too much to bear’.

Nuclear Bomb was nominated for a Filmfare award for its performance in the Ohscar-nominated movie 16 December. But roles like that are hard to come by now that the hindi film industry is moving to meaningful movies  like Double Dhamaal and Dabangg. ‘No one cares about super villains anymore. Brilliant movies like Waqt Humara Hai are shelved even before they are scripted, thanks to all the Bhandarkars and Bhansalis of the world.’ says Nuclear Bomb adjusting his tail-fin. So what next?

‘Well, like Mohinish Behl, I am going in for a complete image makeover, moving to the small screen and playing a good guy.’ Balaji telefilms is rumored to have offered Nuclear Bomb a meaty role in their upcoming soaps, Kaun, Fusion? and Kabhi 238, Kabhi 235.

(Kiran Kumar was too shocked to comment on this development)

Nuclear Bomb’s decision has been welcomed by other in the industry. ‘After Arjun Rampal won the National Award, Nuclear Bomb was heartbroken and was contemplating quitting the industry altogether. It is nice that it has pulled itself up and is making a comeback on the small screen’, says fellow bomb Shilpa Shetty.

We won’t be seeing Nuclear Bomb in its threatening avatar anytime soon but we hope it explodes soon on the small screen(and takes a few soaps with it).


Notes – 1st July

This blogpost doesn’t have a purpose. It is just a random assortment of facts and announcements. Here it goes:

– Half of 2011 is gone. If you are a Mayan, you have only six months to live. Wrap things the bollywood way: Find a non-mayan husband for your wife/girlfriend, organize their wedding, sing and dance and then die right before their honeymoon.

– I am on a break from Twitter. This is similar to Uday Chopra’s retirement announcement(As in no one gives a fuck and he may be back before you know it). Every once in a while I suffer from Twitter disillusionment. After all we are just a bunch of chattering idiots. Imagine you walk into a bar and all of a sudden everyone starts talking to you. Sometimes Twitter gives me THAT feeling. And sometimes I feel like I’ve walked into a bar and started screaming to get attention. I’ve been battling Twitter for a long long time and I am hoping that I’ll develop a plug-unplug method wherein I’ll be able to give up on social networking whenever I want to. Without feeling awkward or left out. Of course it is simpler than it sounds. But for the moment, no more maggi or omelette making tweets on your timeline.

– Google Plus has been launched. And I’ve been graced with a trial. I am neither excited about this nor depressed. I am just running around in circles.

– What I am excited about is the fact that I am going to spend the next two months experimenting. And shooting. Yessir. I am going to trace all my footprints on the internet and I am going to purge the stuff that I don’t want. I’ve already deleted my Linkedin profile. I don’t want a job that way, nor a recommendation. I don’t think I need LinkedIn. But I need to make this more clear to LinkedIn just to stop them from sending me invites. Reporting them as spam on Gmail isn’t working. Also deleted my BlogAdda profile(for which you have to mail the BlogAdda team because they don’t have a delete button). I am going to do this to a lot of other profiles/blogs/stuff on the internet. Frankly I am more excited about using Google Dashboard to find out how many Google services I use and eliminate most of them.

– I am so bored at work that I finished reading a 1000+ pages PDF(LOTR+The Hobbits) entirely in June. If July turns out to be anything like June, I need to come up with really good ways to pass my time at work and do something productive. And no, Marking off Google Reader Unread items doesn’t count.

– Which brings me to the point that I am in love with Google Reader. I am going to follow a lot more blogs and unfollow a few. I am also considering my favorite twitter wallahs on Google Reader(Just added @surekhapillai there).

– is also slated for some changes. Planning to make a blog roll(finally). A few tweaks here and there too. I may be building a page to record mundane stuff like books read/movies watched/fuck given etc.

– Of late, has suffered from a lot of sautela vyavahar because of a sudden Faking News surge in my neurons. Every now and then a headline would pop up and I’d add a few hundred boring words to expand that. The folks at Faking News are considerate people and keep publishing whatever shit I send them(mostly). They also offered me a page of my own. Now people can sue me directly instead of suing me via Faking News. I am also considering getting a Journalist/Reporter Id card for Faking News and adding ‘PRESS’ to my briefcase. In bold, red letters.

– Slideshare finally sent the prize for the Presentation Horror Story Contest. I now have a 3M Portable Projector(MP180) that I have absolutely no use for. I am planning to sell it for 350$(or 15000 bucks, whichever is higher). If you know someone who’d be interested in buying, let me know. I’ll throw in a poster of Lara Dutta for free.

– I am going to write some ‘Tantanoo goes to’ posts now.

– I am planning to *wanders off to read a few blogs*


*clicks on the publish button*