Tatkal, Rihanna and other irrelevant things

Well, this blog and its author have been missing in action lately. The author has also been missing action but that’s for another day. The fact is that the author has been really busy doing important things like running late for office, booking tatkal tickets by the dozen and deleting messages from HDFC Bank offering a personal loan thrice every hour on every phone in the author’s house. The author has also been sleeping like Sleeping Beauty on Benadryl.

The last post on this blog was on the second day of April, a day before the author crossed an important milestone in his life. He breached the Brahmacharya barrier. But right after that, the author was caught in a space-time-dilation-thingy that has slowed the author down to Keanu Reeves level. The author now spends his time watching Junior Masterchef and Castle reruns and eating shrikhand from a can. He took a reading challenge earlier this year that is becoming more challenging with each passing moment.

As a consequence of his inaction, this blog’s viewership has plunged more than the rupee or Rihanna’s neckline. The ICL has more viewers than this blog. Even those looking for Mamta Kulkarni’s body parts have deserted it.

The author realizes that drastic measures need to be taken to fix these issues.

Lara Dutta may be replaced with someone else(who knows).

More blog posts must survive the drafts folder.

Moar naked pikchurs.


But before that, MASTERCHEF 4 BAYBEH!


(P.S.: Tantanoo.com is now available again at work. Apparently, Websense has had a change of heart and has realized that this isn’t an erotic stories blog. The author’s next mission is to get this blog blocked under ‘Tasteless’


The year that was.

It is difficult to write about someone who hasn’t been nice to you. If 2011 was a person, I’d unfriend him on Facebook. If it were a movie, it’d be like Phir Herapheri, the worst possible sequel to something amazing. Since I have the memory of a demented caterpillar, I’d resort to Facebook timeline to recount the events of 2011, one accident at a time.


In January, I added 30 friends on Facebook. Not that this makes any difference but I’d like to see how many ‘friends’ I am making on a monthly basis. Probably put that in an excel sheet and make a few graphs out of it. You know, just in case I lose my job and have to be a Social Media Evanderholyfieldist.

On the first day of 2011, we were so frustrated thanks to thwarted party plans from the previous night(and crazy ass drunkards returning from Besant Nagar beach at midnight) that we packed our bags and left for Pondicherry to salvage what was left of ‘Happy New Year’. This unconventional trip didn’t involve a drop of alcohol and featured a satvik dinner. That blog post also never happened.



In the same month, my cellphone pulled a KLPD on me. What kind of UI designer puts a ‘Delete All Messages’ right next to a ‘Delete Message’ link? I also lost some 750+ songs when iTunes decided to sync my iPod into oblivion.




The saving grace for January was a back-to-back show of Tangled and Dhobhi Ghat in a day. That and 26th January falling on a Wednesday.






– Added 48 friends on Facebook

– Liked ‘Ludo’ on Facebook

– Tantanoo.com was launched:




This was probably the best thing to have happened in 2011. Followed closely by a series of awful weekends(something that was a trending topic in my life all year) interspersed with the occasional pj.







Yin-Yangness happened too.





– Added 21 friends on Facebook

– Liked ‘Anushka Sharma’ on Facebook(something that I regret now)

– Finished an year at work




(This mission has been partially accomplished. Tantanoo.com is now blocked at work under ‘Sex’)




Probably the most famous post on Tantanoo.com for a while, Tantanoo goes to T-Nagar was an emotional rendition of a 7+ hours pilgrimage to the holy land of T. Nagar. In the same month, I developed this fascination for Philosoraptors.


A trip to home happened. Left me poorer by ten thousand rupees.



Holi sucked.



The unthinkable happened.



The thinkable happened too.



and it was all back to square-one.





The birth month always turns out to be the most confusing month. The mind wants to party, the soul wants gifts and the wallet wants some rest. But all you end up doing is replying to the numerous Facebook wall  posts from your ‘Birthday Friends’. To add to that list I added another 35 Friends on Facebook.

– Liked ‘Pepsodent’ (I still don’t remember why, must be a free-toothpaste giveaway)

– Changed my display picture because everyone wanted me to bleed blue.



India won the world cup. On the night of my birthday. Several birthday wishes were lost between ‘WE WON YAY!!!!’ messages. But it was worth it.

– I also started raging thanks to rage rage fuelled by @tambramrage.






– Added 19 friends:



– Got obsessed with Osama’s death for some time.




– Sold my soul for a T-shirt.







– Added 33 friends on Facebook

– Finished an year in Chennai. Celebrated it in a very #amit manner.



– Didn’t like X-Men First Class. The auto-ride to the movie was funner.






July is often the most fucked up month of the year. There are hardly any holidays. It is also historically the month when you had to submit your holiday homework. It is equidistant from both New Years. I didn’t expect much from July.

– Added 37 friends.

– Liked Techcrunch on FB(thus beginning a phase where I’ll be sucked in to Giveaways)

– Attended the Jagannath Yatra in Chennai which was a very humbling experience. I hope I make it to the actual yatra in the near future.


– My tonsil rebelled and pulled an #OccupyThroat on me. 99% of my time was devoted to nursing them.

– Random things kept happening.

Added Angad Singh on Facebook, my first random addition. Haven’t regretted that decision.


Tried selling my tonsils time and again. Didn’t work.



Watched Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara and surprisingly liked it. (there, there)

Also, discovered this gem on Brangan’s blog – “Consistency is for payasam, not for paella.”

Tried using Facebook to find a cook.



LOTR Reruns continued.



and then I went off Twitter for a while and shared this on Facebook(discovered via. Angad Singh). This made its way to Twitter via. @NayakGirin and the rest is history. *blinks eyes*




In other news, Bank Balance reached new lows thanks to a laptop battery that went kaput.



Vellagiri lead to a lot of Facebooking too.





– Added 27 friends on Facebook

– Had crazy fun on Facebook thanks to Sandy Chan.




– Participated in my first Techcrunch Giveaway. Soul selling procedure was almost complete.




– Flatmates kept moving in and out. Shrikant moved to CMU. Chandu(an incredibly talented young lad who is credited with designing a 5000 Rs. Laptop from scratch) moved to Bhubaneshwar. Nights at 4D lasted till the wee hours of the morning with back to back rounds of Judgement with several tea-breaks.




– Another TechCrunch giveaway. Another chance to stoop low.



Discovered two awesomemax videos. LIKEMINDBLOWINGLYAWESOME.





– Added 13 friends on Facebook. Social Media catastrophe if you may call it.

– Listened to Mahalaya for the first time after ages. Over the internet. With some delightful company on Twitter. Missed going home for Puja.



September had nothing else to offer(or so Facebook tells me). It can be summed up with this image.





– Added 27 friends on Facebook

– Liked Dewarists on Facebook(post on Dewarist later perhaps, you can read Dr. Gonzo’s post about it here.)


Tonsils were at it again.



I had totally given up on the year in October itself.



A post that was in the drafts for close to six months was released out in the wild.



By now, I had made it my life-mission to participate in every TechCrunch giveaway possible.



In October, I did something that was supposed to be done in 2010. I finally bought a DSLR. (there, there). More on this in another blog post. A credit card was acquired to execute this plan and I haven’t slept peacefully ever since.



Post-DSLR-purchase-euphoria, life returned to normalcy with a pj here and some soul-selling there.



October also marked an exodus of family from real life to Facebook. My cousins started announcing their presence on Facebook and terms like ‘I facebooked you’ made it to the drawing room of humble bengali households. (I however love this intrusion, sisters be awesome)



October was wrapped up with Ra.One.




November was probably the strangest month of the year. I started with adding 35 friends on Facebook.

Then Google Reader was killed in an accident.

Followed by another post that was in the drafts for a long time and one which lead to Tantanoo.com being blocked across offices(under ‘Sex’). This post has also taken over all my search keywords for the blog.



In November I attended my first Photowalk. Again, more on this later. Let’s just say this Photowalk thing is really, really addictive.



Then CAT 2011 happened.


which led to:



A Flickr account happened. Had to.



Then I committed Twitter suicide.



Kolaveri arrived.



I resorted to telling the truth in Giveaways.



BodhiTree released a song for which I’d been waiting for quite some time.



Rockstar happened. Didn’t like it much though.



A lot of other things happened in November. A good friend moved from Chennai to Hyderabad. I returned to Twitter.

November ended with a photowalk.



December began on a beautiful note.






– I added 19 Friends on Facebook.

– Did a version of Kolaveri.



The only thing to look forward to was dear cousin’s wedding.


I spent most of December nursing a stiff neck(I still am) and looking a physiotherapist in Chennai(I still am). December was rounded off with a  wonderful Christmas photowalk in Chennai and a New Year partay in Bangalore.


So well, that’s that. 2011 recounted in a jiffy. Even after it is gone, I still hate it. I just hope 2012 turns out be as promised. Dhamkedaar. End of the world ekdum. I’ll probably decide some new year resolutions soon. A few more blogposts are dying to see the light of the day.

Till all that happens,


And wish you a Happy New Year.

(P.S.: Read Dr. Gonzo’s post on 2011 here)



This is the 50th post on Tantanoo.com. And since this isn’t Kumar Sangakkara’s blog, this milestone will happen only once.

So I want to mark it with a post.

This post.

Frankly, I didn’t think it’d last this long.

But it has.

So yay!

Also, here are the posts I’ve enjoyed writing(or photoshopping) the most:

Tantanoo goes to T.Nagar

Philosoraptor goes to Bollywood

Draw the line

Life and times of Paul the Octopus

We are all Knuts (Isn’t a blog post really, more of an experience)

and the most recent, Five types of Indian Erotic Story writers.


The last one has managed to get Tantanoo.com blocked at a few offices and has thus dug a deep hole in my already holey readership. This post also marks 30,000 hits on Tantanoo.com, including the most recent raunchy ones, thanks to the clever tagging of aforementioned post.



That’s about it.

Happy reading.

(and yeah, there is a new Flickr link in the menu bar. don’t be afraid. it isn’t evil)





Mera pehla pehla kaam

Today I completed a year at work. *raucous applause*

*applause fades*

One year at a real job. Phew.

I don’t need to use the words ‘Social Media Evango-anthropo-enthuso-logist’ on my resume anymore. Neither do I need to mention that I am the ‘Chief Something’ of Something on my Linkedin profile. Or use the word Entrepreneur in every mail that I send to reinforce the illusion of doing something.

Fake pride aside, I am really happy that I have a job and that I haven’t been kicked out of it with-in an year. I love my company and I am proud of it’s rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. I shall give respect to my parents.. Oh wait.

Where were we?

Oh yeah. I love my company. Yes, I do. Though my bosses don’t subscribe to this blog, I still love my company, my team and my job. Well, most of the time. And now that I have completed a year in my company, I think I am ready to take this relationship to the next level. I am ready to make the transition from ‘In a service-agreement’ to ‘It’s complicated’.

In this one year at work, I’ve learned a lot of useful things. I now know that OOO doesn’t refer to Tarzan’s mating cry. I can spew abbreviations faster than Nana Patekar can curse our collective conscience. TBD, ETA, FYI, ABC, OOO, PFA, EOD, COB, LOL, TGIF, ODIM – You’ve been warned. My respect for weekends has also increased manifold. I wait for a weekend with the same anticipation with which a newly wedded husband waits for that filmy glass of milk. I have also learned important life lessons like ‘Kamaan se nikla teer, Zubaan se nikla shabd aur Lotus notes se nikla mail kabhi wapas nahi aate’ or that ‘All is fair in Love, War and Appraisals’.

For a better part of this year, I’ve worked as a software tester. Frankly, I never saw this coming. When I was trying to make fraandship with Java and SQL, I had no idea that I’ll end up fiddling with Quality Center instead. But to quote @maxdavinci, ‘When when what what happen, then then that that happen’.

One of them works.

Being a software tester is peculiarly difficult. You may not agree with me(more so if you are a developer or are married to one). Developers around the world have this ingrained dislike for Testers. It is like India-Pakistan, Karina-Priyanka or atleast like Ireland-England.

A developer checking in code to a tester is like a parent preparing his daughter for an arranged marriage interview. No parents in the world would like to be told that their daughter is not perfect, to have her imperfections rudely pointed out to them. Imagine if the imperfections are documented in a Bride Defect Report. You can imagine the agony.

To quote Anton Ego:

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

Well, that’s not entirely true in our case. We do risk a lot and a defect report is anything but fun to write. So. Hmm. Ignore the quote.

To be honest, Testing is a pretty dangerous profession. We are like the pathologists or radiologists of the Software world. There is no scope for public display of affection for our work. Like a radiologist who discovers a cancerous growth in his patient but cannot express his joy at making the discovery, a tester cannot rejoice in his achievement. Like a pathologist who cannot run naked screaming EUREKA in the street after discovering that his patient has syphilis, we cannot express any joy at finding a bug in a piece of code. Disappointment is integrated into our profession by design. A tester’s delight is a developer’s disappointment.

Not only that, we are forever haunted by the ‘How much testing is too much testing?’ dilemma. It is like the ‘Sadak kya peter ke baap ki hai?’ question. Nobody knows the answer.

The side-effect of being a Software tester, is that it slowly enters your skin and you don’t even know it. You start finding flaws in everything. Your tolerance for typos decreases. Every time you detect something wrong on some random website, your first instinct is to raise a defect for it somewhere. Anywhere. You feel helpless when the same error happens again and again and you can do nothing about it. You become a part of the Value-Addition-Police, the moral police of the software world. From movies to your girlfriend’s makeup, nothing is beyond your criticism. – finding bugs becomes your dharma and your karma.

I am still learning the tricks of the trade. I am learning to think like a developer, to accept rejected defects with grace and to keep a bold face in appraisal interviews. I now know the fine line of distinction between a CC and a BCC. I know that you cannot leave an Action Figure in your cubicle and expect it to be there the next morning. That there is nothing you can do about a ‘Dhoom Macha Le’ ringtone at work. Absolutely nothing.

There are days when I curse my work(you know, in general, ‘saala system hi galat hai’) and there are days when I have to drag myself out of bed, fake a shower and rush to office just to save that one casual/sick leave. But the joy that I experience on every 31st night when that payroll email arrives more than makes up for it.

Is this the best job in the world? I don’t know. Is my job my hobby, my passion? I think not. But do I enjoy it? Yes, very much.(and I say that with 95% confidence estimate)

Here’s wishing myself many many happy returns of this day. *kisses payslip*

(Image courtesy: RobinAshley.com)


The Dark Blog Rises.

Friends, Romanians and Spammers,

Welcome to Tantanoo.com.

Together we’ll bring down governments, grammar and general knowledge. In that order.

Few pre-world-domination notices:

– I am still not very happy with the template so minor denting-painting work will continue.

– Also, I am going to import some comics from Comicry here, just to kick start the comic binness.

– There will be ads on this blog from time to time, depending on how much money I owe my room-mate.

– There are surprise pages on this blog to surprise you. They’ll appear and disappear depending on how good they feel about me. DON’T PANIC.

– Like a newbie eve-teaser, you can now rate everything on this blog. EVERYTHING!

– The website can now be translated to all major world languages to promote international plagiarization. Why should Pritam have all the fun?

– Comic navigation has been enabled. Clicking on the Random Comic button launches a comic roulette game(
No it doesn’t, but it would have been so cool)

– You can now email, print, tweet, stumble  pages and posts from this blog.  You can also burn its effigies.

To express solidarity with this blog, you may subscribe to the RSS feed/ the email subscription/ follow me on twitter/ send me hate mail/ post Viagra ads/ do whatever you want.

See you around.