Posts from the “Khali Fokat” Category

Tantanoo’s language lessons: #319

Posted on June 15, 2012

Today’s lesson is an introduction to couple words. Couple words are two words that indicate the same thing. Their origin can be traced back to the popular dialogue in the 80s – ‘Aur Kaam Kaaj Kaisa Chal Raha Hai?’ Couple words act as great conversation fillers and are beautifully cringeworthy. Examples: Football Shootball Haye Rabba Shaadi Vaadi Paise Shaise and the epic combo, Dil Vil Pyar Vyar. However, one needs to be really careful while using them in a conversation. You see, I was talking to this lady today and after the usual ‘aakhir uski life meri life se boring kaise’ bits, we reached a point in conversation where you had to use a conversation filler like ‘Aur batao’. I decided to go with…

0

Tatkal, Rihanna and other irrelevant things

Posted on June 14, 2012

Well, this blog and its author have been missing in action lately. The author has also been missing action but that’s for another day. The fact is that the author has been really busy doing important things like running late for office, booking tatkal tickets by the dozen and deleting messages from HDFC Bank offering a personal loan thrice every hour on every phone in the author’s house. The author has also been sleeping like Sleeping Beauty on Benadryl. The last post on this blog was on the second day of April, a day before the author crossed an important milestone in his life. He breached the Brahmacharya barrier. But right after that, the author was caught in a space-time-dilation-thingy that has slowed the…

0

A 90s Heaven

Posted on November 20, 2011

We all have our own visions of Heaven. Clouds, eternal fires, apsaras, Indra’s throne, 1000 watt bulbs and so on. But what if Heaven(or hell for that matter) turns out to be as mundane as our existing lives? Sample this. …   You die. You wake up and out of blinding light a government office emerges. You walk up broken stairs, through paan-stained corridors. You are then made to sit on a bench and wait for your turn. A few decades later(after much pleading before God’s peons), your file reaches Chitragupta’s minion’s desk. A dot-matrix printer is printing your balance-sheet.   You sit there for another decade or so, waiting for that printer to shut up. Finally Chitragupta’s assistant has a look at your…

0

Pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyar kar le

Posted on October 12, 2011

I wanted to write about this song when I first saw it air on TV in one of those Star World India commercials for Simpsons. It is one of my favorite Kishore songs, not for the voice or the music, but for the eccentricity of the lyrics(there is a Ramayana reference there btw). Of course, it does come handy while playing Antakshari(India’s national sport after T20), after you’ve exhausted the Piya piya piya mera jiya pukare and Pyar humein kis mod pe le aya. But it is the lyrics of this song that stand out for me. pal bhar ke liye koyi hamen pyaar kar le jhootha hi sahi pal bhar ke liye koyi hamen pyaar kar le jhootha hi sahi do din ke…

0

Boobs = Kittens

Posted on October 3, 2011

I was fiddling with Google’s What Do You Love(wdyl.com) the other day and discovered something that I am sure many of you’d have already discovered. I searched for ‘boob’ in Google’s WDYL. While you expect Google to churn the interwebs and bring you the best pages on boobies, Google slyly redirects you to a results page for ‘Kittens’.     That’s right. You are looking for boobs and Google gives you kittens. On a rainbowy page. Go ahead. Try it. http://www.wdyl.com/#boob SEE! Reddit tells me that there are 437 such words that are blocked on Google. I found a slightly inaccurate version of that list – http://fffff.at/googles-official-list-of-bad-words/ Also, did you know you could ‘Search God on the move’, ‘Explore God in 3D’ and ‘Access…

0