Saala system hi kharaab hai

<Bad things ahead. Be warned>

I have a shitty digestive system. Literally and figuratively.

To be frank, none of my systems are up to the mark. Digestive, Excretory, Circulatory, Nervous –  You name it. All are equally disappointing. I think when God was distributing healthy organs I was probably sitting in a corner tweeting lame jokes(and checking the number of retweets every now and then). But I’ll still blame God for going all CWG on my body – the infrastructure is so appalling. According to a recent theory, I can blame this on something else but it is easier to assume that God ditched me and all the goodies went to John Abraham.

So here I am, stuck with a digestive system that is as efficient as the Hockey Federation. My digestive system is so dysfunctional, I sometimes think of it as a group of organs living unhappily with each other. After every meal, my insides turn into the Indian Parliament with organs swearing at each other. If you listen closely, you can even hear them arguing.

It bothers me immensely that at every treat that each outgoing room-mate gives, I have to closely monitor what I am eating to ensure that I make it back home without any major accidents. I usually go hungry while traveling in a train for the same reason. My stomach has this Just-in-just-out policy and considering how awesome toilets in Indian coaches are, this becomes a life-threatening situation. I remember having a mango shake on one of my journeys to Nagpur. I remember running out of paper soap on the Lucknow-Chennai Express. I remember that afternoon when I was returning from Delhi University and had a Cold Coffee on one of the metro stations. The cycle-rickshaw wallah who got 100 bucks for 2 kilometers also remembers that afternoon. Not to mention the effort spent in suppressing a fart in an air-conditioned bus.

This probably runs in the family. My uncle was once trapped on a train station in a toilet sans water. Thankfully Bisleri was there to save the day. The second thing that my nephew did after coming to this world was to fart into the hands of his nurse (and later into mine). My dad can probably destroy a country after some Kosha-Mangsho.

Still, I am of the opinion that God (or Nature) had this moral responsibility of giving me a strong digestive system. and stronger teeth. and fairer armpits. and more hair on my head. and… and.. and.

Who am I kidding?

Kuch nahi badlega.

Iss System ka kuch nahi ho sakta.

</Bad things>



Lately, we’ve been listening to a lot of 90s music thanks to a new room-mate. And the more I listen to those songs, I am inclined to believe that Bollywood is mighty inspired by technology.

Take this song for example.

‘Kaash kahin aisa hota, ki do dil hote seene mein,

Ek toot bhi jaata ishq mein toh, taqleef na hoti jeene mein’

(Loosely translates to: I wish I had two hearts in my thoracic cavity. That way, even after a heart-break, it wouldn’t hurt to live)

Can there be a better way to understand the concept of Backup?


Or this one.

Thoda sa pyar hua hai, thoda hai baaki.

(Loosely translates to: Some love has happened, some remains)

There you have it. Bollywood’s reference to Downloads(or streaming. Whatever. )


Amazing. Isn’t it?


Ab Billi Duur Nahi

*drum roll*

In a second-of-its-kind event, I’ve decided to appear for CAT this year.

Three years ago, I undertook a similar adventure. Here is how it ended:



But 2008 was a long time ago. Things were different. I was jobless. CAT was pen and paper. I had to punch the guy next to me because he wanted to discuss the paper while all I wanted to do was to return to my bike and grab a plate of decent poha. This is 2011. A few things have changed. I have a job. CAT is all pro-metric and IITs are pro-CAT. My ilk has lost its credibility somewhat. But like in 2008, even this year I’m as prepared for this examination as the Indian Cricket team was for the England tour. All in all, this is going to be fun. I’ve even prepared a lolcat to mark the event:




Also, I googled for ‘Beginner’s guide to MBA’ but didn’t find any definitive guide. I’ll try to fill that void and write a series of posts under the banner ‘Beginner’s guide to MBA’. You can judge how useful those guides will be by the scorecard attached above.

Eet iz tyme.